Forgiveness Three – …and forget

Forgiveness Three - ...and forget

Part Three of Three

First LET IT GO and then forgive. Forgive and then FORGET. When I re-member something, I am bringing it back into my energy field. Once I have looked at something that I have done to another or that another has done to me and have gone into it to see what the situation is calling me to look at, then it remains for me to take in the lesson into my heart. The final step is to SET IT FREE. I am setting free the emotional energy of that encounter. I am no longer holding it captive in my energy field. That energy is now free to move freely again as it will.

Only if I am able to put myself in the other’s place, and, as they say, ‘walk a mile in his/her shoes’, only then can I really understand the other. Once I am able to see the situation out of his/her eyes, I realize why things happened as they did. Then resentment melts away and compassion takes its place.

In the same spirit, once I am able to look at my situation from a higher point of view, the ‘supra-personal’ viewpoint, I understand myself and see how I came to take action that may have harmed another. I begin to see the whole chain of events reaching back into my early conditioning as a wee child and even further, into generations that lead up to my life today. Then judgment of myself is replaced by understanding and, of course, compassion for myself.

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I will only realize that that situation is truly over when I have ‘swallowed’ it – have taken in its medicine for me and there is no residue left. Then the mind, which is hardwired to judge, may still hold on to that past impression. Then it is the time to tell myself: “Die to that past moment”. In this way I allow its energy to leave my field.

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Now I am ready to acknowledge my innocence. I let go of the past and realize that all the situations I may still need to forgive will show up when it is time for me to learn their lesson. Looking into the Still-point at my deepest center I sense clearly if there is something for me to look at now, in this moment, something I have been in denial of. It is like an itch or a gnawing feeling of some kind. I ask to see its source and I am lead clearly to the impressions from the past that I was not able to digest at the time. They are energy, nothing more. Most importantly, I see that they are MY energy, the way I reacted in that situation. They are there, on the shelf, waiting to be looked at, honored, taken in, consumed, digested and set free.

I recognized that many memories from my childhood were impressions of my Mother being in overwhelm, trying to raise 11 children with no extra help, and additionally working nights as a nurse to help make ends meet. All of those memories then turned into a judgment of my Mother. The neglect I felt as a child and the chaotic circumstances in our household translated into the view (subconsciously) that my mother just wasn’t capable of doing what needed to be done – in other words, she was inferior. This judgment solidified further into a belief: WOMEN CAN’T GET THE JOB DONE.

My Dad, on the other hand, was someone to respect out of fear (he ‘disciplined’ us physically and emotionally with spanking, verbal and psychological abuse), so if someone was to blame it had to be my Mother. When I, in recent years, was able to see the whole scenario from a higher vantage point, I found forgiveness.

It is not that I forgive my Mother and Father, but I found forgiveness, which is to find that understanding that everyone did the best they could, all things considered. We use that phrase so lightly sometimes: “all things considered”, but it is the expression of a very deep attitude in life: I was able to see things from many different sides and really understand how my parents did what they could as best they could.

Today I hold both my parents in deep love and gratitude. Of course, after healing these sources of inner turbulence and resentment, my appreciation and respect for women changed radically and I see now how my own feminine aspect was throttled because of the emotional energy blocking me from being vulnerable towards women in my life, and blocking me from being vulnerable towards life.

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Forgive and forget – blessed words. Let us begin to clean up our sacred language. Look at all the words that we can begin to remove from our usage: resentment, rancor (which comes from the  same root as ‘rancid‘), grievance, ill-will, grudge, retaliation, bitterness, enmity, hostility, indignation, rankle, antagonism…  When I feel into the energy of these words it is clear that it can only exist when I am holding on to a past situation that I have not cleared. Once I have cleared it, I would like the other to have cleared it as well, but that is nonsense. That is not my job, not my concern. I am free to move on into my life’s unlimited experience, untethered and free.

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27 thoughts on “Forgiveness Three – …and forget

  1. Pingback: Forgiveness | BEATRICE

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  4. Excellent post, My Dear Tomas! I appreciate the step-by-step, how-to format that takes us ALL the way through, clearing out the tiniest little hidy-hole that might still be harboring something unloved from our past. The order of “let it go” and then forgive kind of surprised me; I hadn’t thought of it quite that way before. But that is the proper order. I came from a family whose motto was: I’ll forgive you but I won’t forget it. To my mind (even as a young child) that did not equate to forgiveness. We’ve come so far in the last 50 years or so. Many more of us not only see the advantage of forgiving but the necessity of the process. This has been a magnificent series on Forgiveness. Blessings and love, Alia
    PS – Thanks also for all the symbols and the numbers that create them.☺♥ ♪

    • Thank you for your reflection, My Love! It is always very helpful – and, yes, to have “let it go” as step one was new for me, too, but it resonates deeply. ♥ tomas

  5. Tomas,
    This was such an amazing triptych on forgiveness. Thank you. I love your emphasis of “all things considered.” Yes, when we take that supra-personal viewpoint, forgiveness comes naturally. I agree that it our experiences and memories are just energy meant to teach us. Once we learn the lessons, the energy dissipates and we are free. {{{Hugs]}} Kozo

    • Thank you, Kozo ~ you know that at first I didn’t feel the pull to write on this topic, but then it all just came gushing out! I was quite surprised and I always learn so much when I see what comes out onto the screen 🙂 We are all opening up so much now and I hope many more men begin to come on board so that we can get on with the show. One thing I love that my Dad used to say very often: “Let’s get this show on the road!” ☼ tomas ♥

  6. this is beautiful, Tomas. i love your poster photo images. it works perfect with your thoughts. it is easy to forget reflecting about our parents…thanks for the reminder. okay, i asked Maddy about the sun symbol but forgot how you access it…is the sun symbol on the computer keyboard? thanks! ♥

    • I am glad you find this useful. For me the key is to come back to that “Still-point” deep in my center regularly, at least one a week. From there it is clear that I am actually that spark of the eternal Effulgence we call God, or Source etc. and that my essence never did wrong nor had wrong done to it – it was all just a ‘hall of mirrors’ – as real as it feels in the moment and also when I go back to something that has not been dispelled yet. My psychosomatic system doesn’t differentiate between ‘happening now’ and ‘it happened in the past’ – it all feels real and hurts until I find a way to dispel the caught up energy. ☼ tomas ♥

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