an energy that comes alive born of attention
“What is self-knowing? How do you know yourself? Is it in the observing of a thought springing up? We are reluctant to let go the first thought and so there is a conflict. Or is self-knowing to extinguish the first thought and perceive the second thought and then the third, then dropping the third and following the fourth, so that there is a constant alertness and awareness of the movement of thought and an energy that comes alive born of attention?”
Krishnamurti – Fire in the Mind PDF p. 6 – Pupul Jayakar
We are supposed to be upbeat and full of optimism about how wonderful this world can be once we are liberated from all outer and inner bondage. And it probably can indeed be wonderful, but is that the point? How can I be released from bondage if I am not ready to face reality?
So what is reality? First of all it is the fact of Eternity with a capital “E”. This has all been going on for millions and billions and quadrillions of time. It did not start and there is no way it can end. Continue reading
Go to the source. I observe images being formed in consciousness and then how they translate into manifest reality. Where do these images originate? To whom do they appear? I feel how I allow energy to flow into those images, almost as a compulsion. I can hold back the energy with fine restraint and hold it in a place before it streams out into the outward-turned mind. It is like turning the handlebars of a bike 180 degrees and going back on the path I came and then staying there. This occurs at some times unexpectedly. I suddenly notice that I am holding the energy of manifestation in a place of “holding”, in a “holding zone”. Even the thought “I am noticing” feels like an intrusion at that moment (which is out of time). It is such, though, that the thought of noticing doesn’t disturb that state of “holding”. Continue reading
Can the mind face and live with this emptiness and not escape in any direction?
(Krishnamurti – The Urgency of Change)
To escape from the emptiness is fear. I fear the emptiness. As soon as I begin some ‘doing’ I have begun to fill the emptiness. What is the emptiness? Is it the sense of everything going on and on forever into all eternity? I see that everything has been going on for billions and billions of years, billions of cycles of the earth around the sun and, of course, even before and beyond that.
How can achievements and goals hold any validity in that immensity of space without measure? The sages speak of being in the space free of concepts like space and time and free of the sense of being a center as ‘me’. Here where I am, however, there is still the compulsion to move and create those fascinating (and sometimes horrific) patterns in the mind-stuff. Those I can hold on to, those I know and those give me a sense of the familiar.
It is said that the way out of the compulsion of the ‘love to be’ is to relax into the ‘mere being’. He said: “Although this body is lying lifeless like a corpse, I know that I am. Unaffected in the least by this death my being is shining clearly.” (Ramana) This is the fact: My being is NOT one with the body, but is of its own, eternal, changeless, self-shining. The words come out onto the page easily now, but the realization of this “fact” is still not steady and continuous. It comes in flashes and then it is gone.
Yes, I had my own extended episode of realization that time in the hotel in Colombo – when was it? Sometime around 1982… I was on my way back from my tour of Tamil Nadu and my sojourn at Ramana’s Ashram in Tiruvannamalai. The entire hotel, all physical surroundings were palpably ‘the Heart” that was ‘taking care of me’. Now Mooji says: “The Heart is what we are.” This ‘something’ that has no form but pervades all forms – how it escapes my awareness!
My awareness is hard-wired to rely on the data-input from my physical sense organs. Is there a marriage of the two? or as the Yoga Sutras say: The energy of Pure Seeing is distinct from the energy of the Seen, the Observed. When they mix, there is avidya, confusion.