I once believed that everyone had to like me, but now this belief is no more. I once believed I had to be the best person I could be in order to be free, but no more. I once believed that I had to first do everything I needed to do in the world, and only when I had done that and I was satisfied could I turn my attention to Self-discovery. I once believed that.
“By inquiring into the nature of the one in whom all of life appears as a play of contrasts, and recognising that the ‘person’ is only the most intimately assumed thought arising from consciousness—you sieve yourself out of confusion by discarding the false self-image.”
:: Can the mind face and live with this emptiness and not escape in any direction?
(Krishnamurti – The Urgency of Change)
To escape from the emptiness is fear. I fear the emptiness. As soon as I begin some ‘doing’ I have begun to fill the emptiness. What is the emptiness? Is it the sense of everything going on and on forever into all eternity? I see that everything has been going on for billions and billions of years, billions of cycles of the earth around the sun and, of course, even before and beyond that.
How can achievements and goals hold any validity in that immensity of space without measure? The sages speak of being in the space free of concepts like space and time and free of the sense of being a center as ‘me’. Here where I am, however, there is still the compulsion to move and create those fascinating (and sometimes horrific) patterns in the mind-stuff. Those I can hold on to, those I know and those give me a sense of the familiar.
It is said that the way out of the compulsion of the ‘love to be’ is to relax into the ‘mere being’. He said: “Although this body is lying lifeless like a corpse, I know that I am. Unaffected in the least by this death my being is shining clearly.” (Ramana) This is the fact: My being is NOT one with the body, but is of its own, eternal, changeless, self-shining. The words come out onto the page easily now, but the realization of this “fact” is still not steady and continuous. It comes in flashes and then it is gone.
Yes, I had my own extended episode of realization that time in the hotel in Colombo – when was it? Sometime around 1982… I was on my way back from my tour of Tamil Nadu and my sojourn at Ramana’s Ashram in Tiruvannamalai. The entire hotel, all physical surroundings were palpably ‘the Heart” that was ‘taking care of me’. Now Mooji says: “The Heart is what we are.” This ‘something’ that has no form but pervades all forms – how it escapes my awareness!
My awareness is hard-wired to rely on the data-input from my physical sense organs. Is there a marriage of the two? or as the Yoga Sutras say: The energy of Pure Seeing is distinct from the energy of the Seen, the Observed. When they mix, there is avidya, confusion.
The simple statement: “I don’t mind” is very deep when seen in the context of our habitual choosing and rejecting of life circumstances. The modern sage Krishnamurti once asked his audience: “Would you like to know my secret?” It was clear that of course everyone wanted to hear his secret and all were in high anticipation. He then simply said: “I don’t mind.” Continue reading →
Are you ready to meet God? Then, right now, don’t touch anything, not any idea—neither good nor bad. Don’t get involved in anything at all. Anything that appears, just leave it. Don’t hold onto anything, including your self-image. And don’t be too busy leaving things. At a certain point you leave them as they come—no pockets to store things. Be free of all involvements. No name, no shape, no form, no intention, no dreams, no aspirations. Neither mix nor associate with anything. If someone comes and taps you on the shoulder and needs help with anything, do what needs to be done, but don’t identify. Remain inwardly empty. Tell no one. When you leave everything, He will come to meet you. You will know Him who is your Self. But you won’t be able to talk about it. It must not be an experience that ‘you’ have. The personal self, the ego, must not survive this inquiry. So there must not be somebody who has attained or achieved anything. No name. No signature. Let everything be burnt or washed away. Master said: Die but don’t be dead. Meaning, die to all your personal notions of God, the world, and yourself. Then you will find that which is Unborn. This is your God Self. Do this. Sit by yourself and simply keep quiet. This is my invitation. Don’t talk to me or anyone about it. I will meet you there.