my discipline

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modern times II

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My Discipline:

They say that when I put my attention on the world the Self gets obliterated.

Obliterate the world and put your attention on Self.

Putting inert objects into an inert object – we call it ‘eating’.

The mouth is a chewing machine – it leads to the swallowing apparatus.

From there the chemical factory (our digestion) takes over distributing all the building material into this grand edifice made of food – we call it ‘my body’.

Now it appears alive, a Frankenstein plugged into the Current, the alive beingness fed by the ocean of the Unseen. Continue reading

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tenderness

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Image result for inside yurt photos

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There was a warm fire in the stove, some candles in the center of the yurt and we sat on cushions in a circle. It was blustery and raining outside. It was a sharing circle with talking-stick and each of the eight men present shared what was on their hearts at the moment. Most spoke of their difficulties with their partners or with women they wanted to connect with. It was heart-wrenching for me to hear the deep yearning that each of these men expressed to have simple relationships with someone of the opposite sex and to hear of all the complexities that arose for them in these relationships. There was not much I could say beyond encouraging each of us to find the simplicity in ourselves first. The base-line of this evening was that each of us is asking for tenderness and peace. May we remain tender and vulnerable and may we offer tenderness and deep understanding, deep listening to all others in our life.

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the koan

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Image result for invisible experience

the visible and the invisible

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“A phrase that brings the mind to its limits

and can be an opening for awareness of what is before words”

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EXPERIENCE HAS TO BECOME INVISIBLE

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We cling to experience as the real reason for living. It has to become invisible? Why? How? What else is there? Yes, I ‘know’ what else is there. Yes, when my attention clings to experiences and they are in the foreground of my awareness, THAT is not visible. So: EXPERIENCE HAS TO BECOME INVISIBLE. I cannot focus directly on THAT as it is not an object. All I can do is realize, while experiencing, that experience is NOT THAT.

Koans become like a living entity and begin to take over your perception of everything, shifting that perception just a tiny bit…

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the swan dive

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Jan auf´m Sprung

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We are one spaceless and timeless being and there is no other. All of this moves as one, from the stars in outer space to the molecules and atoms. Nothing can move independently of the totality. This means all is synchronized within itself. Therefore the inexorable tendency for dynamic balance and harmony is the default of existence. Disturbances that could off-balance the totality cannot prevail, although it could appear so within the context of a human hour, day or lifetime. Additionally the underlying fact is that all phenomena are indeed images of name and form and thus none of them have a separate existence that could stand up against the interminable flux of the whole.

A specific form that believes itself to have an independent existence may very likely see itself being threatened in its existence by the permutations it observes. The one being, on the other hand cannot possibly sense a threat to itself as it remains what it is no matter what apparent movements occur within its being. That is why all the sages and wisdom schools stress that it the key to peace is to relinquish the “I am the body” idea. Since all sense of danger is something that occurs in our emotional body, that is where this shift needs to occur. We can ask ourselves: “Can I emotionally accept my own annihilation?”

Joseph Campbell’s metaphor of shifting a fall into a dive goes like this: You realize you are falling backwards off a cliff and so you are face up toward the sky seeing all move away from you. You have lost all sense of security and are falling down to something under you which you cannot see and so it is unknown. That causes fear. Now, deep down inside you decide to face the danger, no matter what it may be and so you shift your posture into a head-first dive. Suddenly you are no longer falling at the mercy of the tremendous force of gravity, but you are now diving with that force, with which you have aligned yourself.

Of course you were never apart from that Force because it is you true nature: you ARE that Force and nothing else. Only the magic of the mind conjures up the sense of being a separate being at the effect of outside forces. But we are not.

Every form is heading toward annihilation. Even if we conjure up a reincarnation scenario we cannot imagine an individual re-incarnating endlessly and senselessly into all eternity. Therefore we create the vision of the indestructible essence of an individual ‘soul’ that transmigrates through seemingly endless form, achieving ever ‘higher’ levels of development until Perfection and the God-Head is reached.

We are living already as an absolutely mysterious being that is able to “perform” every imaginable miracle and which has performed every miracle or ‘supernatural’ event ever reported. So what is the point of attempting to reach Perfection as an individual that is in reality nothing more than a mirage anyway? It is merely what we call “emotions” that stand in the way of whole-heartedly accepting ‘what is’, namely that ‘all that is’ is completely open to being seen at every moment:

yes, we are moving forms, which are living, 3-dimensional images in a reality of tangible phenomena;

yes, all phenomena appear (are born), remain (are maintained) for a certain while, and then, when their pull-date comes, they disappear (subside) again into the Unknown of prior-to-consciousness (birth and death);

yes, when they are gone, images and perceptions of “them” can be sustained for a while, and give us the sense that “they” are still “here”, albeit in “another dimension” etc.;

yes, we can hold on to pictures and images and resist the course of nature that relentlessly pulls them out of existence (manifestation=appearance);

yes, we can emotionally accept the natural course of events that will eventually annihilate all phenomena that are present in our lives right now, including own form;

yes, we can emotionally accept the fact that even now our apparent existence as individuals is really just an image, a concept with name and form, but free from any lasting attributes or real substance when compared to the one being;

and so, yes, even now we are annihilated when we accept the fact that we, as “individuals” never really existed in the first place, although what we perceive completely convinces us that we actually “are”, but we actually are “not”.

This is the beginning of the beautiful swan-dive into my own eternal essence as that which continually appears before me, as the one being that I alone am, ever new and ever mysterious.

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the jagrat state

the_man_in_the_mirror_by_smallworld_inc

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And so we continue on in the jagrat state of perceiving an empirical world of outside phenomena and feeling ourselves to be the subject and all else are objects. There is one thing after the other that “shows up” as “to be done”. This endless series of “to do’s” keeps us in the hamster cage or on the merry-go-round that often is not merry at all. It is eternal, endless and will never have an end or break in the continuity unless we realize that we ARE it. Only by looking at ourselves and recognizing what our image of ourselves actually is will we then be in a place of questioning the validity of our self-image. Continue reading

a castle in the sky

 

EPSON DSC picture

…actually more of a fortress in the sky ~

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I created a safety zone for myself. It is the place where I know something. I have built up this fortress over decades and I am so very proud of this structure: it serves me very well. It is made of many blocks of different sizes and shapes: each part is some knowledge that I have understood. There is so much that I have accumulated from ancient, secret scrolls – things that very few have fathomed. Now I realize how silly I have been. Yes, it was all for the best since it got me to where I am now, so there are no regrets but only a kind of chagrin at the pride in myself that I indulged in.  Continue reading

minimal movement

Slender Buddha

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Minimal movement is to notice what arises from the levels of beingness below the level of physical action of this body-mind. What arises are the waves of inclinations (vasanas = latent tendencies) surfacing into appearance (manifestation). I am noticing these incipient movements as in slow motion and so I follow them arising like bubbles from the deep. As they surface a thought forms and, in sequence, but sometimes seemingly simultaneously, physical action occurs.   Continue reading