Here is a partial transcript from a lovely video of Eckhart Tolle (min 19:53 – 26:00):
Something in you thrives on that anger, wants the anger, is addicted to it – you want more of it. You know how the angry person leaves the room and then comes back and yells some more – they thought of something more they could be angry about. If you tell them that this is a dysfunctional way of dealing with the situation they don’t want to hear that. You need to observe in yourself when that happens, there is an almost addictive quality to the reactivity. When you are in its grip it is a form of addiction. It is an addiction of the ego – it keeps the ego going and inflates the ego. Anger particularly does that, it is a huge ego inflation. Anger is always an attempt to make somebody feel guilty (A Course in Miracles). When you succeed then of course you are superior to that person, or the situation that you are angry at. The ego loves that moral superiority, righteous superiority. Being offended is very fashionable these days on the Internet. Outraged! I am outraged! You can be angry while you post your anger on the Internet. But this is not helpful to you or to anybody. It just creates more drama.
And so when there is some awareness in the background you can suddenly see: “Hmmmm, is there another way of dealing with this? Or perhaps there is nothing that I need to do.” Perhaps it’s best not to say anything in some situations. But when there is awareness in you, then out of the awareness a more intelligent way, a non-dysfunctional way of dealing with situations and people arises.
So the question is not, what should I do when I am angry, but is there another way? A more intelligent way, a more sane way? And invariably you will find that there indeed is a more sane way of dealing with the situation.
Excerpt from MATRI VANI (Anandamayi):
In all forms, in all diversity and disparity is He alone. The infinite variety of appearances and manifestations, of modes of becoming and states of being, of species and types, all the numberless distinctions as well as all identity, are but He Himself. With whom are you then angry? Whatever anyone says is according to his stage and condition at that particular time and therefore right for him. Surely, he is only demonstrating what he perceives and understands at that point of his development. This also is but an expression, a guise of the One.
To remain calm and at peace under all circumstances is man‘s duty. To form a bad opinion of a person just because one has heard some gossip about him is wrong. Hostility, condemnation, abusive language, ill-feeling and so forth, even if kept concealed within one‘s mind, will and must fall back on oneself. Nobody should ever harm himself by harbouring such thoughts feelings.