the anomalous blip of “me” and “mine”


Whatever there is to say I do not know. The latest revelation of Myself to Myself was the view that we are programmed to allow ourselves access only to pragmatic data regarding our survival. That is why there is such comfort and a feeling of familiarity when an activity presents itself to “do” on a practical level. There is a blanket to fold and put up into the cupboard; teeth are to be brushed; food for the jays is to be got out of the garage and put outside onto their feeder; coffee to be made and drunk, and so on. The day is filled with “things to do”. Even “sitting doing nothing” becomes a thing to do.

There is the Zen way of doing where I am very much in the background and the doing is the same as being. This conscious poise of “mind right there where the body is”, is also the spaciousness that is so longed for. It implies allowing some “body wisdom” to be in charge and move hands, fingers, eyes, and the breath. Then “I” am able to be right there , where the tip of the pen meets the paper and where there is no time and space. It is the zero-point and it is everywhere – where my eyes meet the light in the room, on the page, on my hands and the light in my eyes.

I am right there where sensation lives. There is nothing outside of the direct touch of consciousness with itself. Somehow there is the totality of existence brought to this point, this very fine point – almost free of any dimension. And this point also lives there where in a kind of limbo lives this strange, anomalous blip of “me” and “mine”.

There is a continual fine restraint of disavowing the program of the conditioning by the past, by things of the memory. At once recognizing its validity in the limited functioning but not subscribing to it; seeing it for what it is: the machinery limited to the demands of survival.

Then the infinite comes into its own and can reveal itself to itself, bringing the wayward energy streams of creation and compulsive manifestation full circle back to the inception point, the “I”.

Antar mukha dristhi – Sanskrit: holding the force of creation in the Heart with fine austerity and refraining from flowing out into manifestation. Just be.






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