To hold on to one thought (aham) to the exclusion of all others is to exit the current of fragmented consciousness, of vrittis (see this article). The stream of your true being is totality and stillness, but not a void. It is the essence of all forms, of all thoughts. Aham is the language symbol of the humming of creation-destruction: it is emanating as all forms, all of life. It rises up inside you and outside you and tears you apart and all other thoughts are lifeless and meaningless. They only take on meaning as this Essence fills them. They are the shells and containers of this Immensity. They have no substance of themselves. This continual swirling into vrittis is the nature of Existence: it is spontaneous and, one could say, ‘whimsical’. All dreams and scenarios are of no substance: they are NOT.
Upon exiting the entanglement of the stream of vrittis there is the stream of unconditioned consciousness. It is an expression of the Absolute.
But the road became gentle and lazily wound
around to a different valley. The clouds were gathering in now and
it was pleasant not to have a strong sun. The road became almost
flat, if a mountain road can be flat; it went on past a dark pinecovered
hill and there in front were the enormous, overpowering
mountains, rocks and snow, green fields and waterfalls, small
wooden huts and the sweeping, curving lines of the mountain.
One could hardly believe what the eyes saw, the overpowering dignity
of those shaped rocks, the treeless mountain covered with snow,
and crag after crag of endless rock, and right up to them were the
green meadows, all held together in a vast embrace of a mountain.
It was really quite incredible; there was beauty, love, destruction
and the immensity of creation, not those rocks, not those fields, not
those tiny huts; it wasn’t in them or part of them. It was far beyond
and above them. It was there with the majesty, with a roar that no
eyes or ears could see or hear; it was there with such totality and
stillness that the brain with its thoughts became as nothing as those
dead leaves in the woods. It was there with such abundance, such
strength that the world, the trees and the earth came to an end. It
was love, creation and destruction. And there was nothing else.
There was the essence of depth. The essence of thought is that
state when thought is not. However deeply and widely thought is
pursued, thought will always remain shallow, superficial. The
ending of thought is the beginning of that essence. The ending of
thought is negation and what is negative has no positive way; there
is no method, no system to end thought. The method, the system is
a positive approach to negation and thus thought can never find the
essence of itself. It must cease for the essence to be. The essence of
being is non-being, and to “see” the depth of non-being, there must
be freedom from becoming.
There is no freedom if there is continuity
and that which has continuity is time-bound. Every
experience is binding thought to time and a mind that’s in a state of
non-experiencing is aware of all essence. This state in which all
experiencing has come to an end is not the paralysis of the mind;
on the contrary, it’s the additive mind, the mind that’s
accumulating, that is withering away.
For accumulation is mechanical, a repetition; the denial to acquire and mere acquisition are both repetitive and imitative. The mind that destroys totally this accumulative and defensive mechanism is free and so experiencing has lost its significance.
Then there’s only the fact and not the experiencing of the fact;
the opinion of the fact, the evaluation of it, the beauty and nonbeauty
of it is the experiencing of the fact. The experiencing of the
fact is to deny it, to escape from it. The experiencing of a fact
without thought or feeling is a profound event.