a sea of turbulence – the “me” and I

280977-nature-amazon-river

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the ‘me’ imploded upon itself

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There was a sea of hot turbulence below him. Fiery whirlpools made up its surface. Like a huge container with impermeable and invisible walls the consciousness of humanity was caught in a prison of its own making. This entire sea with its myriad vortexes, each spinning insanely around itself, was carried by an immense stream: the cosmic Amazon of limitless space and silence. Each vortex with its own “me” center intersected and mixed with the others, creating dizzying interference and more turbulence.

Only seeing itself, each of the spinning and crazily whirling emotional, physiological and mental “dust devils” was a universe in and of itself. There was no perception of the vast peace and stillness of the cosmic flow that sustained and nourished the entire sea of turbulence we know of as humanity’s mass consciousness, in which it was embedded.

At this point in my life I had the feeling of flying over this spitting and spraying surface with its repulsive stench of repressed and stagnant vital energies that alternated with intoxicatingly seductive sounds and sights promising exotic pleasures that beckoned one to dive into the sea. I felt as though I were in a sort of craft like a huge aquaplane, skimming the surface. This craft, however, had a particular connection to one of the vortex-entities that were caught in the strangely sticky waters of the emotional and mental confusion and blindness below. I participated fully in all the trials and heart-wrenching tribulations, the ardent hopes and the bottomless despair of the “me” I was paired with

However, there now was increasingly the sense of being in the cockpit of the aquaplane that skimmed the surface without submerging and getting blinded by the injuriously vitriolic spray of the sea. The “me” entity was beginning to learn out of itself to not feed its own spiraling dynamic of attraction and repulsion but rather to be as the craft, just grazing the surface but not engaging in and getting lost in the mechanism of identification and attachment.

It began to see how its vortex as the “me” consisted of the identification with concepts. Each concept and the composite of all of the individual’s accumulated concepts, memories, aspirations, dreams fears etc. formed its self-made prison, like a tyrannical cocoon. This includes such concepts as this writing. It saw how there is only one possible way to resolve this dilemma of seemingly endless bondage. Seeing that any conventional movement of the mind, of the brain, using thought to find the resolution of this tormenting insanity of self-bondage obviously led only to a strengthening of the vortex dynamic of which the “me” entity consisted, it imploded upon itself.

It ceased to thrash about this way and that searching for the exit from its suffering. Its incessant grasping and searching, repelling and defending, subsided of its own accord. This implosion, which accompanied the seeing of the complete scenario, coupled with the connection to the aquaplane dimension above the sea of turbulence, led to a complete stillness of the brain, and indeed of the entire psycho-physiological entity of the “me” vortex.

The resulting state merged with the dimension of the cosmic inertia of the deep space Amazon River of suchness. This river cannot be felt through words, but it can be felt directly by each of us at any time if we see how the activity of the “me”, the activity of will, builds walls around us and keeps us separate from the Immensity of Space and Silence, which is not a void.

What a dream vision!

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at the moment of light thought withers away

Krishnamurti

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