detachment

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It is a process of detachment. I am detaching from all of the activities that give my life ‘purpose’. Many small projects here in the community I am living in call to me. I know they are the type of thinks I can do and do well. The dynamic is that I step into a project, for example repairing the dishwasher door latch. Doing so I feel how that part of me that is programmed to be helpful (a very prominent part) is fed and grows. What is wrong with that, you will ask. Nothing, except…

I have felt what it means to have my brain some to rest, to be completely still. I understand with my whole being the different dimension that then appears, and that dimension is where I long to dwell. That calls for stabilization of the state where the brain is completely still. It is also clear that such a state cannot be steered toward like a ship toward a destination.

“When man is free, without any motive of fear, of envy, or of sorrow, then only is the mind naturally peaceful and still. Then it can see not only the truth in daily life from moment to moment but also go beyond all perception; and therefore there is the ending of the observer and the observed, and duality ceases.

But beyond all this, and not related to this struggle, this vanity and despair, there is – and this is not a theory – a stream that has no beginning and no end; a measureless movement that the mind can never capture. … The truth is only when you are free from the ache, anxiety and aggression which now fill your heart and mind. When you see all this and when you come upon that benediction called love, then you will know the truth of what is being said.” (K, The Only Revolution, p. 7)

How does one become free of fear, envy, sorrow, vanity, despair, ache, anxiety and aggression? That is what I call the process of detachment. The brain aches for the state where it can be still. When I give in to that ache and radically refrain from letting thoughts create further brain activity (which translates as ‘running with various stories and narratives’), the above brain tangles (fear, envy, sorrow etc.) are activated. So now they are showing up in my psychological energy field. What do I do with them? It is clear that this process is about learning, (not accumulative fact learning). This learning is to be with this dynamic of my brain suggesting all sorts of stories that could be the ‘reason’ for fear, envy etc.

So it is existential learning, not cognitive intellectual. It is also about FEELING the emotional charge connected to the thoughts like despair etc. When I process these energies (these emotional-thought bundles) by SEEING them, which means BEING with my entire being in “the immediate responses” of my brain “to every challenge and demand” in my daily life. When I truly understand the way thought works in response to these demands, and how thought misconstrues each challenge as a ‘life or death’ issue, an issue of survival, then I am able to stand back, to detach, and allow the brain to be still, even though thought suggests ‘high-alert’ for some challenge or demand. This process of “See what happens when the brain is completely still. See what happens.” is in this sense a very delicate one that requires great diligence, learning and compassion for myself and all others I interact with.

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