the heart has no debt to pay

flames j s 7

“Why climb when the heart has no debt to pay?”

Han Shan

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When the heart has no debt to pay I am at peace with myself. Nothing is calling me out of myself. This peace is the basis for all realization. When the heart has no debt to pay there is space. Space is very subtle. To be aware of space is a state of fine sensitivity. Even finer than space is the sense of ‘I am’. Tuning in to that first sense of beingness cleanses my perception. The state of being where the heart has no debt to pay is the portal to resting in my own form. Yes, to recognize my own original form is to be on the borderline between form/no form and beyond both form and no form.

When the heart has no debt to pay then I have severed all attachments and am divorced from the seduction of all the trinkets, enticing smells, tastes and from the power of attraction of the tens of thousands of wonderful functions. The tens of thousands of wonderful functions remain wonderful and I am free to make use of them at any time. More precisely, now I recognize how the tens of thousands of wonderful functions use me as part of their functioning. Yes, there is a quality of being in which I, too, am a function, just like all the other ‘inert objects’ in the world. From the platform of my true form: ‘svarupa’ – I am part of the functioning and I am also not a part of all of this. My human nature takes care of itself.

When the heart has no debt to pay it is satisfied to allow all changes to happen and to accept all changes. All the while it remains at peace with itself, with Self. Then the ‘Mysterium tremendum’ can at any moment free perception and catapult all of my senses into the Reality of boundlessness, beyond all of the safety nets of cozy concepts and knowledge.

When the heart has no debts to pay then all last vestiges of regret, guilt, uneasiness about anything of the past or future and also of the present have been digested and integrated. I have faced and embraced (and continue to do so) all residue that surfaces in my awareness, during waking hours and also, it seems perhaps, during dream-time. Looking at many occurrences from times of less maturity and understanding, I see the why and how – then self-compassion/forgiveness happen naturally and effortlessly. I forgive myself for I knew not what I did.

When the heart has no debt to pay, the seemingly intractable collusion of this person Tomas with the actions that happen through and with him relaxes and is released. Now, more and more, there is this person who feels he is ‘doing’ all sorts of things, and simultaneously the sense of the True Person – who in his heart of hearts is free of all of this – is present.

When the heart has no debt to pay.

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